The number one thing in my opinion in a Relationship is: RESPECT
I believe this should come first. Respect determines a whole lot in your relationship.
If you are not being respected by your spouse. Everything else will not fit in. Believe that.!!!!!!!!!!!
He can tell you a thousand times he loves you and at the same time degrading you.
If he is always being sarcastic towards you that's because he doesn't respect you.
If he's always:
1) Raising his voice at you or over you while you are trying to talk
2) Telling you what your doing is the wrong way he will show you the right way
( even though you were the first one to show him how to do it a few month's ago)
3) Criticizing you about anything and everything
4) While talking to people he brings your name up about something stupid you did
5)Expects you to have a full course dinner on the table EVERY NIGHT. Because it's your duty to feed him!
6) Nit-picking finding fault in anything most of the time it's petty stuff
7) Every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolves into a fight
HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU!!!!!!!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
He's Playing Mind Games
How about that man that plays mind games with you?
For Instance:
He's been ragging you because over the years you have gained some weight. You just can't seem to get rid of those Fat rolls, plus you don't have the energy to exercise. Because after all he's the one that put you in this predicament anyways cause you have lost all your self esteem and confidence. But, that is the way he wanted you to get in the first place.
So you have finally gotten a little nerve and decide to go on a Diet. So what does he do now??? Yup, you know the answer.
He Rags you once again but this time reverse ragging. "Ummm-ummm this piece of cake sure is good, don't you want a bite, He says! Aw come on, one bite won't hurt".
So to shut him up because you know just this little conversation will escalate some kind of way into an argument, so you take a bite. Before you know it he has made you eat the WHOLE piece of cake!
Now, how about, you might have just a little energy and strength that you decide to exercise? Ooh yeah, that's sounds good. But low and behold here he goes again.
" What, you only did 25 sit ups. Aww come on you can do more than that. So once again to keep an argument from starting, you push yourself or shall I say...."He" pushes you like a raving mad man till you tell yourself. I'm not doing another push up for the rest of my life cause he done went and ruined it for me.
This is exactly what he was hoping you would do. Remember.....nothing you do is RIGHT!!!!!!!! If your to Fat he complains, if your skinny he complains so on and so forth.
For Instance:
He's been ragging you because over the years you have gained some weight. You just can't seem to get rid of those Fat rolls, plus you don't have the energy to exercise. Because after all he's the one that put you in this predicament anyways cause you have lost all your self esteem and confidence. But, that is the way he wanted you to get in the first place.
So you have finally gotten a little nerve and decide to go on a Diet. So what does he do now??? Yup, you know the answer.
He Rags you once again but this time reverse ragging. "Ummm-ummm this piece of cake sure is good, don't you want a bite, He says! Aw come on, one bite won't hurt".
So to shut him up because you know just this little conversation will escalate some kind of way into an argument, so you take a bite. Before you know it he has made you eat the WHOLE piece of cake!
Now, how about, you might have just a little energy and strength that you decide to exercise? Ooh yeah, that's sounds good. But low and behold here he goes again.
" What, you only did 25 sit ups. Aww come on you can do more than that. So once again to keep an argument from starting, you push yourself or shall I say...."He" pushes you like a raving mad man till you tell yourself. I'm not doing another push up for the rest of my life cause he done went and ruined it for me.
This is exactly what he was hoping you would do. Remember.....nothing you do is RIGHT!!!!!!!! If your to Fat he complains, if your skinny he complains so on and so forth.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Signs of a Cheating Man
How do you know if he is Cheating on You? Here are some signs that you will be able to tell by.
* Spends less time with you
A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.
* Isn’t as affectionate any more
Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.
* He changes his physical appearance
A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.
* Car changes
The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.
* Becomes more short-tempered
The guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.
* Behavioral changes
A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.
* Cell phone changes
A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.
* Computer usage changes
A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.
* Changes in spending habits
You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to. Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.
* Spends less time with you
A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.
* Isn’t as affectionate any more
Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.
* He changes his physical appearance
A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.
* Car changes
The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.
* Becomes more short-tempered
The guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.
* Behavioral changes
A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.
* Cell phone changes
A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.
* Computer usage changes
A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.
* Changes in spending habits
You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to. Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.
Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness.
* Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of LOVE. He may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him. As the jealousy progresses, he may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
* Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend.
He is very dependent on you for all his needs, and may tell you he can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'if you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
* 'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "RAPE" excites him. He may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
* Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him. He may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
* Superiority
He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
* Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of LOVE. He may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him. As the jealousy progresses, he may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
* Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend.
He is very dependent on you for all his needs, and may tell you he can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'if you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
* 'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "RAPE" excites him. He may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
* Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him. He may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
* Superiority
He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Controlling Behavior
* You may not be allowed to make decisions about the house, your clothing, or your going out.
* He keeps all the money or make you ask permission to leave the house.
* He get's angry if you are late coming home.
* Cut's you off from everything and everyone.
* Strikes tables or walls, or throw objects.
* Cruelty to Animals or Children
* Punishes animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain and suffering.
* Teases children until they cry
Playful Use of Force In Sex, likes to throw you down and hold you down during sex, or act out fantasies where you are helpless. The abuser may start to have sex with you while you are sleeping or demand sex while you are ill or tired or right after an assault
* Always degrading you
* Run's down your accomplishments.
He demands and expects to be admired and praised by others and is limited in his capacity to appreciate others' perspectives?
Is he envious of others or believes that others are envious of him? He doesn't recognize other people's emotions and feelings?
or:
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
* Depression
* Feelings of Low Self-Worth
* Inability to Cope
* Suicidal Thoughts
* Apathy
* Obsessive Thoughts
* Inability to Recover
Or has he turned you into all of the above?
* He keeps all the money or make you ask permission to leave the house.
* He get's angry if you are late coming home.
* Cut's you off from everything and everyone.
* Strikes tables or walls, or throw objects.
* Cruelty to Animals or Children
* Punishes animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain and suffering.
* Teases children until they cry
Playful Use of Force In Sex, likes to throw you down and hold you down during sex, or act out fantasies where you are helpless. The abuser may start to have sex with you while you are sleeping or demand sex while you are ill or tired or right after an assault
* Always degrading you
* Run's down your accomplishments.
He demands and expects to be admired and praised by others and is limited in his capacity to appreciate others' perspectives?
Is he envious of others or believes that others are envious of him? He doesn't recognize other people's emotions and feelings?
or:
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
* Depression
* Feelings of Low Self-Worth
* Inability to Cope
* Suicidal Thoughts
* Apathy
* Obsessive Thoughts
* Inability to Recover
Or has he turned you into all of the above?
Feel Like His Punching Bag?
An enormous amount of verbal abuse accompanies physical abuse. A barrage of derogatory labels such as "stupid b*tch", "ugly slut", or "cheap whore" are heaped upon you. Mind games are rampant. Some verbal abuse is less obvious to you. It can be so subtle that the you are unable to identify the intent of the words. You accept this judgment that your housekeeping is sloppy, your childcare lax, and you are a hopeless, unappealing drudge. You didn't cook something just right, that outfit you have on doesn't match, he can't find something and your the one that has misplaced it. Your self esteem slips even lower.
A man who batters is a master at blaming other people and external events for his own behavior. He is never wrong but you always are. Your to blame about everything that goes wrong. If he has a bad day at work he comes home and let's it out on you.
His Sarcastic comments literally punch you in the face. He goes on and on about a topic until you are mentally drained and just give up because you know, know matter what you say it won't matter, he will just over ride you anyways.
A man who batters is a master at blaming other people and external events for his own behavior. He is never wrong but you always are. Your to blame about everything that goes wrong. If he has a bad day at work he comes home and let's it out on you.
His Sarcastic comments literally punch you in the face. He goes on and on about a topic until you are mentally drained and just give up because you know, know matter what you say it won't matter, he will just over ride you anyways.
Who can you turn to for help?
So, who DO YOU turn to? You think No-one. That's not true.
Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.
You are stronger than you think. Their is HELP out there. You have to get the Courage that is inside of you to look for it, to get it.
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.
You are stronger than you think. Their is HELP out there. You have to get the Courage that is inside of you to look for it, to get it.
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
The Cycle of Abuse
The Cycle will break you
Understand how it Destroys you
The saddest thing of all: This insidious repetitious cycle will break you so smoothly, there's an excellent chance you won't even realize you've lost yourself. For some people it may take years... but it will break you.
Each time you take a spin on the Cycle of Abuse you lose a little piece of yourself. You never quite make it back up to your top again. Oh I know, you may think and believe you have... but you haven't. Every cycle of abuse takes you lower and lower and lower until one day, there is nothing left of you. You just don't recover. Look closely at yourself and your life... feel your feelings... listen to your own heart... reach into your spirit. I now ask you...
Are you really the same person you were before you began riding The Cycle of Abuse?
The Cycle of Abuse keeps you fearful and off balance both emotionally and psychologically.
Phase 1...........Tension Building
Tension increases, breakdown of communication, you become fearful and feel the need to placate him.
Phase 2..........Incident
Verbal, Emotional, Physical abuse. Anger, Blaming, Arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
Phase 3.........Reconciliation
He apologizes, gives excuses, blames YOU, denies the abuse occurred, or says the abuse wasn't as bad as you claim.
Phase 4.........Calm
Incident is "FORGOTTEN" nothing happened
Understand how it Destroys you
The saddest thing of all: This insidious repetitious cycle will break you so smoothly, there's an excellent chance you won't even realize you've lost yourself. For some people it may take years... but it will break you.
Each time you take a spin on the Cycle of Abuse you lose a little piece of yourself. You never quite make it back up to your top again. Oh I know, you may think and believe you have... but you haven't. Every cycle of abuse takes you lower and lower and lower until one day, there is nothing left of you. You just don't recover. Look closely at yourself and your life... feel your feelings... listen to your own heart... reach into your spirit. I now ask you...
Are you really the same person you were before you began riding The Cycle of Abuse?
The Cycle of Abuse keeps you fearful and off balance both emotionally and psychologically.
Phase 1...........Tension Building
Tension increases, breakdown of communication, you become fearful and feel the need to placate him.
Phase 2..........Incident
Verbal, Emotional, Physical abuse. Anger, Blaming, Arguing. Threats. Intimidation.
Phase 3.........Reconciliation
He apologizes, gives excuses, blames YOU, denies the abuse occurred, or says the abuse wasn't as bad as you claim.
Phase 4.........Calm
Incident is "FORGOTTEN" nothing happened
You can't Change him, so stop trying
You can't change your partner no matter how hard you try. You can't love him enough to make him stop abusing you. Only he can change himself or make the decision to stop being abusive.
The abuse and your failed efforts to stop it, erode your self-confidence, devastate your self-esteem and destroy your sense of self-worth. You become fearful, insecure and dependent. Everything in your life eventually revolves around your abuser, their moods and their needs. You become a non-person, and as such, you are reduced to existing as your abuser's "possession.Look what has happened to you! Your "failure" to stop the abuse and "failure" to resolve issues, has very likely set up feelings of helplessness within you because you can't seem to make anything better no matter how hard you try. As you keep trying, and failing, these feelings of helplessness grow. Your self-esteem is driven down and your sense of self-worth is shattered. You lose confidence in yourself and your abilities.
he goal of an abuser is control. They want you to behave only in the ways in which they want you to behave. They achieve this control with abuse.
The cycle of abuse is a huge part of your answer to How did this happen to me? For years, you have very likely been feeling that you have been going around in circles... not getting anywhere. Your feelings are correct.
You have likely kept on trying and trying your best to resolve issues and doing everything in your power to try to stop your partner's abusive behavior... and nothing has worked.
Nothing has worked because your partner doesn't want to stop controlling you
and abuse is his method of doing it. His abuse towards you isn't a one time " I'm mad" reaction from him. It is an on going thing for the rest of your life, if you let it.
Oh, we all get made or frustrated at times, but do we literally abuse someone on purpose? No....
Do we think about the mean and hateful things we are going to do or say to the person we call ourselves "Loving"? No....
But the abusers do!!!! Constantly.
The abuse and your failed efforts to stop it, erode your self-confidence, devastate your self-esteem and destroy your sense of self-worth. You become fearful, insecure and dependent. Everything in your life eventually revolves around your abuser, their moods and their needs. You become a non-person, and as such, you are reduced to existing as your abuser's "possession.Look what has happened to you! Your "failure" to stop the abuse and "failure" to resolve issues, has very likely set up feelings of helplessness within you because you can't seem to make anything better no matter how hard you try. As you keep trying, and failing, these feelings of helplessness grow. Your self-esteem is driven down and your sense of self-worth is shattered. You lose confidence in yourself and your abilities.
he goal of an abuser is control. They want you to behave only in the ways in which they want you to behave. They achieve this control with abuse.
The cycle of abuse is a huge part of your answer to How did this happen to me? For years, you have very likely been feeling that you have been going around in circles... not getting anywhere. Your feelings are correct.
You have likely kept on trying and trying your best to resolve issues and doing everything in your power to try to stop your partner's abusive behavior... and nothing has worked.
Nothing has worked because your partner doesn't want to stop controlling you
and abuse is his method of doing it. His abuse towards you isn't a one time " I'm mad" reaction from him. It is an on going thing for the rest of your life, if you let it.
Oh, we all get made or frustrated at times, but do we literally abuse someone on purpose? No....
Do we think about the mean and hateful things we are going to do or say to the person we call ourselves "Loving"? No....
But the abusers do!!!! Constantly.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Does it mean you are weak?
I wouldn't say your weak. Because if any one else says or does something you don't agree or like, You go SMOOTH OFF!!!!!!!!!! Even ready to fight.
But when it comes to him..........You back down.
So, once again the question, are you weak?
I would say, You take what he dishes out because it is sooooo unexplainable as to why he treats you the way he does, and you love him. But you are Flabbergasted still.
You think, this isn't the man I knew when we first met. What happened? You think, I must have changed him, I must be the cause.
No Lady, it is not you. He always was like that. Just unlucky you are the one that chose to be with him.
You are NOT weak! You are emotionally Drained and can't see straight. Your hoping that one day all of his abusiveness towards you will stop. That day just has to come, you think!
But it doesn't....it only get's worse.
But when it comes to him..........You back down.
So, once again the question, are you weak?
I would say, You take what he dishes out because it is sooooo unexplainable as to why he treats you the way he does, and you love him. But you are Flabbergasted still.
You think, this isn't the man I knew when we first met. What happened? You think, I must have changed him, I must be the cause.
No Lady, it is not you. He always was like that. Just unlucky you are the one that chose to be with him.
You are NOT weak! You are emotionally Drained and can't see straight. Your hoping that one day all of his abusiveness towards you will stop. That day just has to come, you think!
But it doesn't....it only get's worse.
Control and Manipulation
Feeling Helpless because you are being Controlled?
Controlling and manipulating abusers are equally dangerous. They tend to look to the outside world as a person who may have their act together, but if you get too intimate with them you see it is all an act. You tend to be the one who has to take the flack for what they cannot or will not do for themselves and if you don't do your part in helping them with their so-called perfect image, then you have to deal with their anger, tantrums, threats, humiliations and other tactics to get you to do what you were told.
He plays Mind games with you. Goes on and on about a subject until you agree with him. Then after you agree, the conversation has changed to something else. Manipulating you until you see his way or side.
Controlling and manipulating abusers are equally dangerous. They tend to look to the outside world as a person who may have their act together, but if you get too intimate with them you see it is all an act. You tend to be the one who has to take the flack for what they cannot or will not do for themselves and if you don't do your part in helping them with their so-called perfect image, then you have to deal with their anger, tantrums, threats, humiliations and other tactics to get you to do what you were told.
He plays Mind games with you. Goes on and on about a subject until you agree with him. Then after you agree, the conversation has changed to something else. Manipulating you until you see his way or side.
Emotional Abuse
Do you often feel as if you do not own yourself? That your significant other has nearly total control over you? You feel Depressed,unhappy and tired, can't make any decision's on your own? You can't sleep or sleep to much?
You eat to much or not at all? You just can't THINK,... period!!......
Emotional abuse is humiliating and hurt's so bad in your heart because you feel you can't do anything about it. You second guess YOURSELF.
He deliberately does something to make you feel diminished or embarrassed.
Isolating you from your friends and family.
Emotional and verbal abuse are treated with the least serious respect on the abuse scale, but it is just as SERIOUS as the others.
We were all raised with, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." That is a crock! Words do indeed hurt, especially when you are being constantly assaulted with derogatory names, profanity, insults, and put in an atmosphere of constant fear so you are always "walking on eggshells."
You eat to much or not at all? You just can't THINK,... period!!......
Emotional abuse is humiliating and hurt's so bad in your heart because you feel you can't do anything about it. You second guess YOURSELF.
He deliberately does something to make you feel diminished or embarrassed.
Isolating you from your friends and family.
Emotional and verbal abuse are treated with the least serious respect on the abuse scale, but it is just as SERIOUS as the others.
We were all raised with, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." That is a crock! Words do indeed hurt, especially when you are being constantly assaulted with derogatory names, profanity, insults, and put in an atmosphere of constant fear so you are always "walking on eggshells."
The Cycle Will Break You
Each time you take a spin on the Cycle of Abuse you lose a little piece of yourself. You never quite make it back up to your top again. Oh I know, you may think and believe you have... but you haven't. Every cycle of abuse takes you lower and lower and lower until one day, there is nothing left of you. You just don't recover. Look closely at yourself and your life... feel your feelings... listen to your own heart... reach into your spirit. I now ask you...
Are you really the same person you were before you began riding The Cycle of Abuse?
The heavy weight of abuse crushes you a little bit more each time you travel around the cycle. Down, down, down you go... until you are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually annihilated.
Are you really the same person you were before you began riding The Cycle of Abuse?
The heavy weight of abuse crushes you a little bit more each time you travel around the cycle. Down, down, down you go... until you are physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually annihilated.
Women in Abused Relationships
He Screams at you
He calls you names
He's always asking "WHY"
He slaps you
He chokes you
He criticizes everything you do
He talks over you (loudly)
He doesn't let you go anywhere
He talks so bad about your friends that you let them go
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is this YOU?
You ask, Why is this happening to me? Especially from the person I love and he is supposed to love me back. Am I such an awful person that my loved one treats me like this? What have I done to deserve this?
So many unanswered questions you ask yourself and no Logical answer in return.
Oh wait!! Maybe if he is an alcoholic that could be the answer or EXCUSE he has for abusing you. So you go on day by day excusing it because "it's the alcohols fault" No Lady, that's not so No reason you should have to deal with being tortured from your loved one. Because guess what? On the days he doesn't drink...
it's the same thing!
You shouldn't be treated with abuse. Whether it is VERBAL, Mental or Physical. Abuse is abuse!
The saddest thing of all: This insidious repetitious cycle will break you so smoothly, there's an excellent chance you won't even realize you've lost yourself. For some people it may take years... but it will break you.
One day it will catch up with you if he hasn't already hurt you or killed you.
But it will brake you emotionally. Everything and anything you have ever enjoyed in life will totally be washed away.
You won't care whether the sun shines or not. You'll only find that all you want to do is SLEEP.
Yes, you heard me SLEEP. Because you are so Mentally and Emotionally drained that your mind doesn't function right any more and your hoping that SLEEP will make it better. That's all you really have left that is YOURS. Sometimes he tries to take that from you too.
If you are in a relationship and you feel violated;
If you feel like a prisoner in your own home;
If you feel like you are at fault for your partners behavior;
If you feel anxious, terrified, depressed about how you are being treated;
If you have lost yourself trying to make your partner happy;
you are in an abusive relationship period.
He calls you names
He's always asking "WHY"
He slaps you
He chokes you
He criticizes everything you do
He talks over you (loudly)
He doesn't let you go anywhere
He talks so bad about your friends that you let them go
Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is this YOU?
You ask, Why is this happening to me? Especially from the person I love and he is supposed to love me back. Am I such an awful person that my loved one treats me like this? What have I done to deserve this?
So many unanswered questions you ask yourself and no Logical answer in return.
Oh wait!! Maybe if he is an alcoholic that could be the answer or EXCUSE he has for abusing you. So you go on day by day excusing it because "it's the alcohols fault" No Lady, that's not so No reason you should have to deal with being tortured from your loved one. Because guess what? On the days he doesn't drink...
it's the same thing!
You shouldn't be treated with abuse. Whether it is VERBAL, Mental or Physical. Abuse is abuse!
The saddest thing of all: This insidious repetitious cycle will break you so smoothly, there's an excellent chance you won't even realize you've lost yourself. For some people it may take years... but it will break you.
One day it will catch up with you if he hasn't already hurt you or killed you.
But it will brake you emotionally. Everything and anything you have ever enjoyed in life will totally be washed away.
You won't care whether the sun shines or not. You'll only find that all you want to do is SLEEP.
Yes, you heard me SLEEP. Because you are so Mentally and Emotionally drained that your mind doesn't function right any more and your hoping that SLEEP will make it better. That's all you really have left that is YOURS. Sometimes he tries to take that from you too.
If you are in a relationship and you feel violated;
If you feel like a prisoner in your own home;
If you feel like you are at fault for your partners behavior;
If you feel anxious, terrified, depressed about how you are being treated;
If you have lost yourself trying to make your partner happy;
you are in an abusive relationship period.
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