The number one thing in my opinion in a Relationship is: RESPECT
I believe this should come first. Respect determines a whole lot in your relationship.
If you are not being respected by your spouse. Everything else will not fit in. Believe that.!!!!!!!!!!!
He can tell you a thousand times he loves you and at the same time degrading you.
If he is always being sarcastic towards you that's because he doesn't respect you.
If he's always:
1) Raising his voice at you or over you while you are trying to talk
2) Telling you what your doing is the wrong way he will show you the right way
( even though you were the first one to show him how to do it a few month's ago)
3) Criticizing you about anything and everything
4) While talking to people he brings your name up about something stupid you did
5)Expects you to have a full course dinner on the table EVERY NIGHT. Because it's your duty to feed him!
6) Nit-picking finding fault in anything most of the time it's petty stuff
7) Every situation, no matter how seemingly trivial, evolves into a fight
HE DOES NOT RESPECT YOU!!!!!!!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
He's Playing Mind Games
How about that man that plays mind games with you?
For Instance:
He's been ragging you because over the years you have gained some weight. You just can't seem to get rid of those Fat rolls, plus you don't have the energy to exercise. Because after all he's the one that put you in this predicament anyways cause you have lost all your self esteem and confidence. But, that is the way he wanted you to get in the first place.
So you have finally gotten a little nerve and decide to go on a Diet. So what does he do now??? Yup, you know the answer.
He Rags you once again but this time reverse ragging. "Ummm-ummm this piece of cake sure is good, don't you want a bite, He says! Aw come on, one bite won't hurt".
So to shut him up because you know just this little conversation will escalate some kind of way into an argument, so you take a bite. Before you know it he has made you eat the WHOLE piece of cake!
Now, how about, you might have just a little energy and strength that you decide to exercise? Ooh yeah, that's sounds good. But low and behold here he goes again.
" What, you only did 25 sit ups. Aww come on you can do more than that. So once again to keep an argument from starting, you push yourself or shall I say...."He" pushes you like a raving mad man till you tell yourself. I'm not doing another push up for the rest of my life cause he done went and ruined it for me.
This is exactly what he was hoping you would do. Remember.....nothing you do is RIGHT!!!!!!!! If your to Fat he complains, if your skinny he complains so on and so forth.
For Instance:
He's been ragging you because over the years you have gained some weight. You just can't seem to get rid of those Fat rolls, plus you don't have the energy to exercise. Because after all he's the one that put you in this predicament anyways cause you have lost all your self esteem and confidence. But, that is the way he wanted you to get in the first place.
So you have finally gotten a little nerve and decide to go on a Diet. So what does he do now??? Yup, you know the answer.
He Rags you once again but this time reverse ragging. "Ummm-ummm this piece of cake sure is good, don't you want a bite, He says! Aw come on, one bite won't hurt".
So to shut him up because you know just this little conversation will escalate some kind of way into an argument, so you take a bite. Before you know it he has made you eat the WHOLE piece of cake!
Now, how about, you might have just a little energy and strength that you decide to exercise? Ooh yeah, that's sounds good. But low and behold here he goes again.
" What, you only did 25 sit ups. Aww come on you can do more than that. So once again to keep an argument from starting, you push yourself or shall I say...."He" pushes you like a raving mad man till you tell yourself. I'm not doing another push up for the rest of my life cause he done went and ruined it for me.
This is exactly what he was hoping you would do. Remember.....nothing you do is RIGHT!!!!!!!! If your to Fat he complains, if your skinny he complains so on and so forth.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Signs of a Cheating Man
How do you know if he is Cheating on You? Here are some signs that you will be able to tell by.
* Spends less time with you
A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.
* Isn’t as affectionate any more
Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.
* He changes his physical appearance
A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.
* Car changes
The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.
* Becomes more short-tempered
The guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.
* Behavioral changes
A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.
* Cell phone changes
A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.
* Computer usage changes
A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.
* Changes in spending habits
You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to. Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.
* Spends less time with you
A cheating man must use the excuse of working long hours, extra meetings and dinners or other unexplained functions so he will have time with his “other” woman.
* Isn’t as affectionate any more
Your sex life is almost non-existent because of his other commitments. He doesn’t want to cuddle, watch a movie, hold hands or do many of the touchy things he used to.
* He changes his physical appearance
A cheating man usually starts buying new clothes, gets a new hair style or begins working out because he wants to be attractive to the other woman in his life besides you.
* Car changes
The passenger seat in the car has been moved or there is an unknown hair on the car seat. Perhaps the radio station is on an irregular station because that’s what she likes.
* Becomes more short-tempered
The guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.
* Behavioral changes
A cheating man frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy.
* Cell phone changes
A cheating man can not leave his telephone turned on when with you because his other woman may phone him. He may leave the room to have a telephone conversation or say strange things after he picks up a message from his lover. Watch for calls in the middle of the night. If you have access to his telephone bill, check it closely. Look for repeated unknown numbers, times and durations.
* Computer usage changes
A cheating man may utilize a computer to seek out partners or communicate with. If your man is on his computer for long periods of time at night and he closes the door so you won’t see him, he may be communicating or chatting with his love interest.
* Changes in spending habits
You can tell if your man is cheating if he is suddenly always broke. He’s broke because he is spending all of his money on the other woman. Watch as to whether he is paying with cash and making more frequent ATM withdrawals to cover his paper trail. Check any receipts, bill’s or stubs that you may have access to. Once you know if your man is cheating or not, make sure you have a plan of action that you will take after you accuse him. You need to decide whether it’s time for you to move on or whether this relationship may be worth a second chance.
Warning Signs of an Abusive Personality
While not all abusive people show the same signs, or display the tendencies to the same extent, if several behavioural traits are present, there is a strong tendency toward abusiveness.
* Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of LOVE. He may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him. As the jealousy progresses, he may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
* Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend.
He is very dependent on you for all his needs, and may tell you he can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'if you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
* 'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "RAPE" excites him. He may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
* Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him. He may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
* Superiority
He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
* Jealousy
At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of LOVE. He may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him. As the jealousy progresses, he may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you'll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness.
* Unrealistic Expectations
The abuser may expects you to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, and friend.
He is very dependent on you for all his needs, and may tell you he can fulfill all your needs as lover, friend, and companion. Statements such as: 'if you love me, I'm all you need.', 'You are all I need.' are common. Your abuser may expect you to provide everything for him emotionally, practically, financially or spiritually, and then blame you for not being perfect or living up to expectation.
* 'Playful' use of Force in Sex
He may pressurize you to agree to forceful or violent acts during sex, or want to act out fantasies where you are helpless. A male abuser may let you know that the idea of "RAPE" excites him. He may show little concern about whether you want to have intercourse and uses sulking or anger to manipulate you into compliance. Starting sex while you are sleeping, demanding sex when you are ill or tired, or refusing any form of intimacy unless you are willing to go 'all the way' can all be signs that he could be sexually abusive or sexually violent.
* Verbal Abuse
In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, either in public or in private, this can include degrading remarks or running down any accomplishments. Often the abuser will tell you that you are 'stupid', could not manage without him. He may keep you up all night to 'sort this out once and for all' or even wake you at night to continue to verbally abuse you. The abuser may even say kindly things to your face, but speak badly about you to friends and family.
* Superiority
He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Controlling Behavior
* You may not be allowed to make decisions about the house, your clothing, or your going out.
* He keeps all the money or make you ask permission to leave the house.
* He get's angry if you are late coming home.
* Cut's you off from everything and everyone.
* Strikes tables or walls, or throw objects.
* Cruelty to Animals or Children
* Punishes animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain and suffering.
* Teases children until they cry
Playful Use of Force In Sex, likes to throw you down and hold you down during sex, or act out fantasies where you are helpless. The abuser may start to have sex with you while you are sleeping or demand sex while you are ill or tired or right after an assault
* Always degrading you
* Run's down your accomplishments.
He demands and expects to be admired and praised by others and is limited in his capacity to appreciate others' perspectives?
Is he envious of others or believes that others are envious of him? He doesn't recognize other people's emotions and feelings?
or:
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
* Depression
* Feelings of Low Self-Worth
* Inability to Cope
* Suicidal Thoughts
* Apathy
* Obsessive Thoughts
* Inability to Recover
Or has he turned you into all of the above?
* He keeps all the money or make you ask permission to leave the house.
* He get's angry if you are late coming home.
* Cut's you off from everything and everyone.
* Strikes tables or walls, or throw objects.
* Cruelty to Animals or Children
* Punishes animals brutally or be insensitive to their pain and suffering.
* Teases children until they cry
Playful Use of Force In Sex, likes to throw you down and hold you down during sex, or act out fantasies where you are helpless. The abuser may start to have sex with you while you are sleeping or demand sex while you are ill or tired or right after an assault
* Always degrading you
* Run's down your accomplishments.
He demands and expects to be admired and praised by others and is limited in his capacity to appreciate others' perspectives?
Is he envious of others or believes that others are envious of him? He doesn't recognize other people's emotions and feelings?
or:
* Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
* Depression
* Feelings of Low Self-Worth
* Inability to Cope
* Suicidal Thoughts
* Apathy
* Obsessive Thoughts
* Inability to Recover
Or has he turned you into all of the above?
Feel Like His Punching Bag?
An enormous amount of verbal abuse accompanies physical abuse. A barrage of derogatory labels such as "stupid b*tch", "ugly slut", or "cheap whore" are heaped upon you. Mind games are rampant. Some verbal abuse is less obvious to you. It can be so subtle that the you are unable to identify the intent of the words. You accept this judgment that your housekeeping is sloppy, your childcare lax, and you are a hopeless, unappealing drudge. You didn't cook something just right, that outfit you have on doesn't match, he can't find something and your the one that has misplaced it. Your self esteem slips even lower.
A man who batters is a master at blaming other people and external events for his own behavior. He is never wrong but you always are. Your to blame about everything that goes wrong. If he has a bad day at work he comes home and let's it out on you.
His Sarcastic comments literally punch you in the face. He goes on and on about a topic until you are mentally drained and just give up because you know, know matter what you say it won't matter, he will just over ride you anyways.
A man who batters is a master at blaming other people and external events for his own behavior. He is never wrong but you always are. Your to blame about everything that goes wrong. If he has a bad day at work he comes home and let's it out on you.
His Sarcastic comments literally punch you in the face. He goes on and on about a topic until you are mentally drained and just give up because you know, know matter what you say it won't matter, he will just over ride you anyways.
Who can you turn to for help?
So, who DO YOU turn to? You think No-one. That's not true.
Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.
You are stronger than you think. Their is HELP out there. You have to get the Courage that is inside of you to look for it, to get it.
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Don't be ashamed, don't be afraid.
You are stronger than you think. Their is HELP out there. You have to get the Courage that is inside of you to look for it, to get it.
Help is available to callers 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Hotline advocates are available for victims and anyone calling on their behalf to provide crisis intervention, safety planning, information and referrals to agencies in all 50 states, Puerto Rico and the U.S. Virgin Islands. Assistance is available in English and Spanish with access to more than 170 languages through interpreter services. If you or someone you know is frightened about something in your relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or TTY 1-800-787-3224.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)